Tuesday, May 7, 2013

All the Juicy Details: Day One



Well, folks.  I started my juice cleanse.  I'm only on Day Two right now, but I wanted to share a recap of Day One with you guys.  It's long, so if you just want a quick summary, scroll to the bottom. 

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6:00AM - Woke up.  Pretty tired from a busy weekend.  First thought: I would kill for a cup of coffee right now.  Stepped on the scale to that I can track my progress.  Step off the scale and decide that I am definitely on board for this cleanse.  Throw on some yoga pants and out the door I go.

6:30AM - Pick up my juices from Good to Go Raw Juice Bar.  Chit chat with the girl working.  She's on Day 7 of a 10 Day Cleanse.  She appears to be in a good mood.  If she can go seven days without turning into the Wicked Witch of the West, I can survive three days, right?

7:25AM - Fix myself a cup of hot water and lemon. It's fine, but OMG I WANT COFFEE.

8:00AM - Get to my office and crack open my first juice of the day (Start Your Engine: Carrot, Grapefruit, Orange, Kale, Spinach, Parsley, Beet, Ginger & Cayenne).  Hm.  Not bad.  Kind of tastes like a citrus-infused Bloody Mary.  The cayenne gives it a nice kick.  Vodka would give it a better kick (Happy Monday?).  So far, so good!

8: 53AM - Receive a text from my cleanse partner (aka my NOLA friend Katie). She's half way through her first drink and has decided to quit.  She's already called her local juice bar to cancel her cleanse.  I should mention that it's only 7:53AM her time (love you).  And then there was one.

10:48AM - After finishing 24oz of water, I crack open my second juice of the day (Purple Powerhouse: Apple, Cabbage, Kale, Spinach, Parsley, Cucumber & Celery).  Meh.  I can taste the cabbage, which I really don't like.  This one is going to be harder to get through, but is still relatively drink-able.  I'm also not hungry at all, but I want to stay on the recommended consumption schedule.  I am, however, very tired.  I'm sure that's from my lack of coffee.

12:01PM - Honestly?  I kind of feel like crap.  I'm a little nauseous, can feel a headache coming on, and I am SO, SO, SO, SO TIRED.  I could fall asleep at my desk this very second.  I am also craving a sleeve of Ritz Crackers.  Weird.  I'm also still trying to finish the Purple Powerhouse.  I've decided that it is definitely not my favorite.

12:36PM - My coworkers are eating lunch and I want to die.  I definitely didn't expect to feel this way the first day.

1:24PM - After another 24 oz of water, I open my third juice for the day (Stamina: Carrot, Pineapple, Kiwi, Kale, Spinach, Parsley, Cucumber, Broccoli & Mint).  This one is just okay.  With Pineapple, Kiwi, and Mint as ingredients, I expected more.  Truth be told, I am forcing myself to stay on schedule.  I am not hungry at ALL, and I would definitely not be drinking this juice if I wasn't supposed to finish between 1-2PM.  It might take a while for this one to go down.  My energy level is up, just barely.  Think "I'm really tired and would kill for a nap" from "they could cast me as a zombie in The Walking Dead".

3:26PM - Only made my way about half way through the Stamina before I called it quits and threw the rest in the trash.  My head is pounding (caffeine withdrawls, I'm sure).  Every time my work phone rings, I contimplate throwing it out the window. I just want to drink my last drink (raw almond milk with dates and sea salt), curl up in bed, and sleep until tomorrow.

4:10PM - I am way behind on my schedule, so I try to make my way onto my fourth juice (Filler Up: Apple, Pineapple, Kiwi, Orange, Lemon, Celery & Chia Seeds).  Not bad. In fact, probably the best one yet.  Would be REALLY good without the celery :).  Still too full to stomach much now.  I also have the hiccups.  Everytime I hiccup, my headache gets worse. Awesome. 

4:35PM - Okay, the Filler Up is growing on me.  It's pretty yummy and I'm starting to feel much, much better. The Chia Seeds are an awesome addition, as they are solid-ish.

5:00PM - ONLY 30 MORE MINUTES OF WORK. YAY YAY YAY.  HAPPINESS!

5:45PM - Finally, a burst of energy.  My headache is gone and the fog that's been over me all day has lifted. The Filler Up must have really turned my day around. I decide to head over to Pottery Barn to do some shopping and keep my mind off of the cleanse (plus, I have a gift card to spend. Yippee!).

6:00PM - Try my fifth juice of the day (Salad Sipper: Carrot, Kale, Spinach, Parsley, Cucumber, Celery & Broccoli).  Take two sips.  Throw the rest in the trash.  Eff that, man.

6:30PM - Exhausted.  Shopping really took it out of me.  I want sweats and my DVR, stat.

7:20PM - Levi gets home and told me that he ate his Chick-fil-A in the car so that I wouldn't have to smell it.  Love him.  He then proceeds to offer me a sip of his Diet Coke.  Hate him.

7:30PM - Curl up on the couch with sweet Georgia and my final juice (Night Cap: Raw Almond Milk, Dates, Vanilla, Cinnamon & Sea Salt).  The skies opened up and angels sang.  The Night Cap is DELICIOUS.  At this point, it tastes like the most amazing vanilla milkshake that you've ever had.  I tried to savor the flavor and make it last, but I finish the entire bottle in 20 minutes (all the other juices took way over an hour to finish).  My tummy was full and felt very satisfied.  No cravings for the rest of the night!

10:00PM: Crawl into bed, with a happy, Night Cap-filled tummy.  Fall asleep in 1.25 seconds.


Summary of Day One:
THIS. SUCKS.


8 comments:

  1. Ha. I'm super impressed you made it through a full day. I'm not sure that I could. I'm always intrigued by juicing... but then I remember how much I love food (and diet coke/coffee)

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  2. Hahaha this post is so funny! I know to never even try a cleanse because I would turn into a monster from not eating constantly. You're so brave!

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  3. I wanna try juicing so bad, everyone is raving about it lately!

    xxS

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  4. Trust me, it was horrible. That Salad Sipper you threw out immediately? TRY THAT AT 7 OCLOCK IN THE MORNING. Love you though. And I am going to be such a jelly bean come Thursday morning.

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  5. Love it!! if you need a little push you should watch - "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead" - A documentary about juicing that is so inspiring!! We watched it and are considering doing it too (I know i'll fail so i'll prob keep quiet about my journey lol)

    It's on netflix, hulu and you can rent it : ) good luck Nat!!! Although you are perfect already and reallllyyyyy don't need to do this mess...womp

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  6. This is too funny. Day one was DEFINITELY the worst for my detox too! Granted...I was eating solid foods. I have mucho respect for you doing the juice cleanse!! I'm just not sure I can survive on liquids, but I also didn't think I could survive for my 3-week cleanse and I did, so who knows :)

    But I'm glad to know that there's a raw juice bar in Spartanburg! I wish we had one here in town. Do you buy whatever you want or do they kind of help you pick the ones you need/should have at certain times of the day?

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  7. Trying not to find joy in your pain, but these juice cleanse posts have been hilarious. Keep it up! :) I love your blog.

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